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Why Are All the Good Husbands Already Taken?



Question:

Here is the dating paradox: Why are all the good guys already taken? Why are my friends' husbands all such wonderful people, and the guys I meet all seem to be missing something?

Answer:

It's not that the good guys are taken--it is that a "taken" guy is more desirable. Loving and being loved brings out the best in us. So a guy in a relationship does have something that the available guys are missing--someone to love.

A painting will always look better once it is framed and hung on the wall. A couch is far more attractive in a home than in a showroom. And people are more beautiful when they have found love. The human soul is only truly itself when it has opened up to someone else.

When we love someone, we are more alive. Our feelings are more vivid, our sensitivity is heightened and our personalities flourish. When we are loved by someone, we feel more confident and free, content and complete.

We can share love with our family and friends, but until we find our soulmate we are only half a person. It is when man and woman come together that they are the image of G-d, they are complete.

You can't go furniture shopping in someone else's living room. And you can't compare the guys you date to your friends' husbands. A complete person doesn't need you. A half seeking their missing half does.

Feel your halfness, and recognize the halfness in another. Then you'll find there are plenty of wonderful guys out there. One is waiting for you. Without you, he's only half the guy he could be.


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By Aron Moss   More articles...  |   RSS Listing of Newest Articles by this Author

Rabbi Aron Moss teaches Kabbalah, Talmud and practical Judaism in Sydney, Australia.


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Reader Comments
Latest Comments:
Posted: July 4, 2008
why are all the good ones taken?
I think your expectations are way too high. Everyone has flaws, but try to see positive traits about him. Of course in a realistic way. I am sure your friends have good husbands, but they also work out their differences in private.
Posted By yamille, anaheim, ca, usa
via campsgi.com

Posted: Apr 23, 2008
george in switzerland
you are correct...anyone who is not able to have happy moments in their own space will not enhance the life of others.
if one has a sense of self ...if one has a good sense of Hashem , one will have the joy of meeting and being with ones bashert..
there is no doubt..ask of yourself what is your deepest intention and deepest desire:
life
love
charity
forgiveness (a gift to oneself)
whole health
peace
friends
laughter
prosperity
again be frightfully honest here...the world is ever changing and we must change with it ...
your unique true self with no facades and the goodness of your heart will attract your special other...
no matter what it (your life)looks like ..at the moment...be willing to .separate illusion from reality and live honestly and with faith...
we are all children of the creator...
chag sameach
G d Bless
Posted By Anonymous, montreal , quebec

Posted: Apr 22, 2008
Why Are All The Best Guys Already Taken?
I hear this all the time, and it's NOT true! They're just hard to find. Dating is NEVER easy, and if you're marriage-minded, it can be even harder if you say anything about marriage "too quckly" when you're in a new relationship.

Don't give up. MOST people have someone for them!
Posted By Lisa, Providence, RI



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