Susan notices changes in her son.
Lately, his words and expressions are different, coarser to her ear.
His mode of dress, too, has altered. It is not a major transformation, but a few, small things with which he has "updated" his wardrobe, making her somewhat apprehensive.
His moods, too, have become so volatile. He claims to be happy with his new group of friends, but intuitively Susan questions whether he's being true to himself.
Susan wonders if she should be concerned. Basically, her son is still the same good boy he always was. Maybe she is overreacting.
But a nagging voice inside her conjectures that perhaps these small changes are a warning signal portending something more significant. This voice cautions her not to let these fine points just pass by, but to watch carefully for a moment when she can provide the necessary guidance and direction.
The Torah reading of Vayakhel (Exodus 35-38) begins with Moses conveying G‑d's instruction regarding the making of the Tabernacle. A team of "wise-hearted" artisans were called upon to make the Tabernacle and its furnishings.
And those who are wise in heart among you shall come and make all that G‑d commanded. …the tabernacle, its tent and its cover…the ark and its poles…the table… the menorah for light… and the pegs of the tabernacle and the pegs of the courtyard and their ropes…" (Exodus 35:10-18)
Regarding the last item cited above, Rashi (the great biblical commentator Rabbi shlomo Yitzchaki, 1040-1105) explains:
The Pegs: These were driven into the ground and tied the ends of the tapestries, so that the tapestries would not be blown by the wind.
The pegs were a sort of copper nail made for the tapestries that served as the tent-covering of the Tabernacle and for the cloth walls of the courtyard, to hold these in place so that the wind would not blow them. Like all the other major utensils of the Tabernacle, these pegs needed to be made by those who were "wise of heart."
Understandably, the main components of the Tabernacle--the tapestries themselves, the ark, the altar and so forth--needed to be made by artisans who would proficiently design these utensils according to G‑d's will, permeating their work with a suitable holiness. But why was it necessary for the "pegs" and "ropes"--seemingly extraneous minutiae --to be made by those who were wise of heart?
Is there perhaps a message for us, as parents and educators, in these "pegs"?
Every child is a "tabernacle", a holy edifice, replete with potential for housing G‑d's will. In helping to "construct" our children, we cannot simply impart knowledge or teach skills; we must also build personality and develop character.
Shaping a child's personality and imparting values is accomplished through the major as well as minor details of our children's lives. Even small, extraneous issues which may seem insignificant—like the pegs and ropes of the Tabernacle—must not be overlooked, but must be dealt with, with patience, perseverance and wisdom of the heart.
The outside "winds" of foreign values can be very alluring to our children. Given the opportunity, these fiercely blowing winds can uproot the values we work so hard to instil. Our role as parents is to make sure that even the pegs and ropes are implanted firmly, so that the walls and tapestries do not blow by the wind, and that our children do not become swept down a deviant path.
Small, seemingly insignificant issues can also often convey a noteworthy forewarning. Is your child displaying a sad, downcast mood that doesn't seem to pass? Has he made a stinging remark that is out of character? Is she suffering from a loss of appetite? Has she changed her mode of dress to fit in with a group?
These are examples of "small details" in our children's lives that can be an indication of something amiss.
It may begin with a small thing--such as a "peg" that is out of place--a minor facet of his character development, or a trivial variance in his behavior. But left unchecked, it can lead to a more severe uprooting.
Taking care of the details of our child's life means not neglecting the little "pegs" grounding his values. Permeating our children with these finer points--and knowing how to step in at the appropriate moments with the necessary guidance and sensitivity--requires someone who is truly of wise of heart.
